“You know what… this is the year I’m going to do family photos – I just need to lose some weight first”
“I really need new headshots; I just bought a new wrinkle cream so I’ll see if that works first…”
“I want some lovely pics of us all together. I’m looking really knackered right now so I’ll just hang on a bit…”
I’ve heard all of these things from friends so far this year. It makes me so angry, and ultimately sad, to hear us talking about ourselves like this and overlooking the importance of family photos with these bullshit excuses!
I don’t usually use my blog to rant but there is some seriously tough love coming your way if this is you…
Yep, it was Christmas. You probably indulged. Same here, it’s Christmas. It’s what we all do!
Yes, you had a baby and your body changed. Me too.
And yes, I understand. You got older and you don’t have the same stomach you did at 16. Nor do I! (Not that I ever did but who’s checking?)
But seriously, stop.
Just stop! Please.
Stop being horrible to yourself. Don’t use negative language to describe your awesome body – you rock Mama. Resist the temptation to get into the conversations with your friends about who is the ugliest / fattest / oldest looking etc.
I have a friend when, every time I ask how she is, replies with a sigh and how much she weighs. Don’t be that friend! I wouldn’t have noticed and frankly don’t care. I asked how YOU are, not what the scales think of you today. Your weight is completely inconsequential in how you are DOING.
Don’t use the number on the scales as an excuse to be the ghost in your family photos for yet another year.
How about we all start focusing on the positives for a bit, like how amazing our bodies are, and the amazing things they’ve done for us. How about that we’re so lucky to be ageing at all? That’s what I’m largely grateful for – bring on the greys! No one is perfect and the woman you envy as ‘perfect’ will have her own catalogue of insecurities, I guarantee! Maybe she even looks back at you wishing she was more like you?
What if the grass actually is equally as green on both sides of the fence and we could all be happy as we are?
When I look at my childhood photos, you know what I see? I see my Mum’s smiling face and her eyes crinkling with love as she looks at me and my brother. I remember that she was there for us, without fail, being my biggest cheerleader and number one fan. It’s never even occurred to me, FOR A SINGLE SECOND, to check out her waistline!
Please do not use feeling crap about yourself as the reason that you deprive your children of being in their childhood photos. I promise you this; they don’t give a shit about the way you look… However, they may well be heartbroken looking through family albums when they can’t find a single photo together with you.
If you feel rubbish then do something about it. But… what if nothing ever changes? I’ve resolved to get fit or lose weight so many times. What if you never get that flat stomach back? Do you want to miss the next 5 years of being in photos with your kids before you realise this is the new you?
I’m not saying I’m immune to feeling like this. I wrote a whole long rant to myself a year ago, but I’ve worked hard to be kinder to myself. So now, who cares if I’m not the perfect 10, or have a few grey hairs, or have wrinkles where I didn’t 10 years ago? I’m happily present in our family gallery.
Can you say the same?
Reach out to me this year and I will photograph you through your children’s eyes; as the amazing Supermum that you are every single day of the year.
I will capture you through your partner’s eyes as the incredible person that they adore.
I will show you in the way you deserve to see yourself – perfect exactly the way you are, right now.
And don’t just take my word for it, being photographed by me really isn’t that scary, all these lovely people will vouch for me too!
You words are the so so true. We are full of complaints, always, 24/7
Never enough! Why?
Thank you for wording this so wonderfully !
Thanks Lavinia – being a woman in the world we live in is so so hard. I wish we could all just be kinder to ourselves 🙂
So true Tori!
I am one of these mums and I know I’d like to lose weight, but also appreciate the need to capture life.
The photos you took of me and my daughter will last forever. I love them as does my daughter.
Don’t wait until your kids leave home 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment Bron. I love the photos I took of you guys together – they are so real and show so much love between you two (and I get it’s hard to get older kids into photos in the first place so well done you!) And I don’t think you need to change at all, I think you are fabulous and amazing, exactly as you are 😀