You’re Not Alone (And You’re Not the Problem)
Here’s something I did recently that felt absolutely terrifying.
I posted a photo of myself on Instagram. Just regular old me wearing an everyday sweater with my hair a bit scruffy. Not dolled up in a blazer. There was no performance of “professional” in this photo. I’d just had some branding photos taken and I decided I was done trying to be someone I’m not.
In this post, I wrote honestly about how done I am with the pressure to look a certain way at all times. The pressure is very real for me when I’m surrounded by perfectly presented people. I just want to show up as I am; a somewhat frazzled business-building mum who is fitting everything into the margins of the day. And this was me finally giving myself permission to just show up as who I actually am.
Then I held my breath.
The comments that came back weren’t about how polished (or not!) I looked. They were things like: “OMG your fab personality shines through whenever I see you. No amount of makeup, hair-dos or clothes can change that my friend.”
And: “Love this!! I’m totally that mum too.”
That’s when I reminded myself of what I already knew… We are all our own worst critic. And sometimes the stuff we’re most scared to put out there is exactly the stuff people need to see and hear.
The Real Reason You’re Not Posting
Let’s be honest, shall we?
It’s not that you don’t have anything to say or that your life isn’t interesting enough. It’s not even really about finding the time (though yes lack of time is a pain in the arse too).
It’s that posting feels super exposing like people are watching and judging you. I feel like being visible is somehow showing off, and us girls were taught a long time ago not to do that, weren’t we?
I go through this internal struggle every time before I post my face. Ludicrous!
There’s the worry about how you look and not knowing what to say. Then comes the fear of coming across as pushy or salesy. And underneath all of it is those old childhood gremlins whispering that being a show-off is going to get you told off.
But here’s what I’ve learnt: the women who comment “I needed to hear this” are the ones who were waiting for you to go first.
A Framework to Actually Get You Started
So, if the problem isn’t you, it’s just not knowing what to say – what if we fixed that part?
Here are some prompts to get you going when you’re staring at a blank screen:
Introduce yourself (properly)
Not your job title. You. How you actually work. What your day looks like. Who you’re doing this for. The mum at the laptop during nap time is more relatable than any corporate bio.
Explain what you do in plain words
Not in jargon but in words your client would use when telling a friend about you.
Answer the questions you get asked all the time
What do people always want to know before booking? What are the things you find yourself typing into DMs over and over? Those are your FAQs.
Share a moment that felt real
Something that happened in a session, or in your own life, that actually meant something. Not a polished case study. Just a real moment.
Show up as yourself – messy margins and all
The sweater. The school run. The business emails squeezed in before pick-up. That is not unprofessional. These are the moments that your client recognises herself in.
Why This Actually Matters
Here’s the thing about visibility: disappearing isn’t a neutral choice.
When you’re hiding behind an old headshot – or not posting at all – you’re making it harder for the right people to find you and who are looking for someone exactly like you but just can’t find you because you’ve gone quiet.
Your clients book you because of who you are. Not in spite of it.
The personality that makes you feel awkward on camera? That’s what someone else is searching for right now. The realness, the warmth, the scruffy sweater and slightly chaotic energy – that’s the thing that makes you their person.
So come on! Post the thing.
Ready to Make It Easier? Here’s Where to Start
I’ve put together a free month of Instagram prompts to help you figure out what to actually say – how to introduce yourself, explain what you do, answer FAQs, and show up consistently without it feeling like a performance.
Grab the free Instagram prompts here – because not knowing what to say is a fixable problem, and you shouldn’t have to figure it out from scratch.
And if the photos to go alongside these prompts are the missing piece – if you’re still using a cropped holiday snap or something from three years ago that doesn’t look like you anymore – this is what my Photography Branding Membership can fix for you. A year of photoshoots, done for you, so that even when life gets chaotic you have fresh content ready to go. Plus, a community of other women who will cheer you on, act as your audience, and be right there with you when the camera comes out and the nerves kick in.
You don’t need to look a certain way… you just need to show up.
Permission granted 🙂
